personalthoughts

Full on gas, no road. Fuse ignited, won't explode. Fish on, reel broke Big heart, no home. potential useless without the latter,

“Sometimes” Sometimes the words are cloudy, Sometimes I can't seem to speak. Sometimes comes too often, Sometimes I feel meek

“light switch”

stumbling and fumbling along in the dark, The destination known, the path not marked tip toe around to avoid the trouble unknown, it was already double. without warning a light flips on, I had been wandering all along, The direction was wrong, the mission debunked, the rest of the relationship, defunct.

“Defaulted”

Failure is bliss, It is where you find the lessons you surely would have missed. A painful teacher but a teacher none the less,

Fuck this

What is this? overbearing cloudiness, space is heavy to move through. alarms don't work where has my mind moved to? a lesser man has awoken its time to be put to rest. He is not welcome here, his presence is a jest.

“Again”

Here we are rather here I am. precariously positioned to take a stand. over the cliff, I will surely fall will it be a step or a push or a crawl? hold firm or rush the inevitable? either choice will leave a lesson memorable. No action is action, each course ends in dissatisfaction. default aggressive, take the stand. I'll wait for a reply to see if I land.

What else? I cannot change my appearance or my personality, I've been told I am handsome and exude congeniality, perceived success only outweighed by my drive. I feel like I am crushing life but cease to thrive. Money, power and freedom, I do not need them. It is the intangible pieces that I seek. like the warmth of a hug that cannot be felt from a stranger or sharing your mind when thoughts are bleak.

Is there anyone out there? Is there anyone listening? The answer I already know. Even with this answer, I will continue to push, fight, and grow.

I am a little disappointed, perturbed, and hurt I should have known when you were plainly overt. It wasn't a secret or something to hide, you laid in bed staring wide eyed. I left the room filled with regret I didn't know the mistake I hadn't made yet. I walked away and should have kept walking it would have saved me from this endless sulking

“Reality” your pain is intentional, I wouldn't call it consensual, Yet I absorb these blows as they are dealt. It is I who is responsible for how I felt. I believe what I want to and see it too, The real problem was me and not within you. When you see what you want and not what is, a foggy confusion is what that is. you are who you are and I did not see it, now it is me who has to deal with it.

Mondays can be dreary, as we are tired and weary from pervasive thoughts, at least that is my theory.